I haven't been following the Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen divorce and child custody settlement very closely and damn am I missing out. The New York Post today ran some quotes from emails along with a few other things that Sheen supposedly sent Richards in a moment of unbridled rage. Usually stuff like this is downright shocking and disgusting but since these two are absolute kooks, it's hilarious.

*"Go cry to your bald mom, you [bleeping] loser," Charlie Sheen wrote to Denise Richards (whose mom was undergoing chemotherapy treatments for cancer.) *"You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go [bleep] yourself sad jobless pig," reads another. *"You are an evil piece of [bleep]. I can't wait to tell the world what a piece of [bleep] you are. You don't get a [bleeping] dime till this is resolved," says a third e-mail. *Richards says Sheen even visited gay pornography sites - "which I found even more disturbing because I felt that the boys looked underage," the documents state. *Richards accuses Sheen of punching the headboard of their bed once in a rage, and telling her that by no longer breast-feeding, she was causing their daughter, Sam, to "become retarded." *"He took a large wedding photo off the wall. He had it placed in our garage. He sawed the picture in half and took spray paint and sprayed 'the dumbest day of my life,' ."

There is no way this can be true. Absolutely no way otherwise Louis C.K. and Jimmy Norton would have Sheen on the payroll for their new sitcom or stand-up tour. These two almost make Britney Spears and Kevin Federline look normal. But all of this doesn't look like it is keeping Charlie down. Last night he and fiance Brooke Mueller were happy to see paparazzi waiting for them as they exited the Paley Center for Media, after the 100th episode celebration for 'Two and a Half Men.'