The Secret To Getting In Elisha's Pants? Play Hockey

Elisha Cuthbert, who just broke up with New York Ranger Sean Avery, is in Hawaii with her newest fling and guess what! He's another hockey player! This time the lucky guy is Calgary Flames defenseman Dion Phaneuf.

So if you're playing at home, go to a second-hand sport's store and buy some used hockey gear. Put it on and run around the block a few times so it smells like your sweaty ass and  knock a few of your teeth out. Have a friend do it if your squeamish.

Then, after you've watched 'Youngblood' and 'Slap Shot' a few hundred times, hang outside Koi with your hockey gear in a rented Cadillac CTS (remember your pretending to be a hockey player not a basketball player so no Mercedes S-Class) and run your game on Ms. Cuthbert when she walks out.

If it works, you owe me a beer. If you end up in jail on stalking charges, this is satire.

  • Digg it!
  • Add to Del.Icio.Us
  • Stumble It!
  • Google Bookmarks
  • YahooMyWeb
  • Live
  • Facebook
  • Add this post to Ma.gnolia
  • Add this post to Reddit
 

2 Comments

So what? she loves the game, she's Canadian, home of the best hockey players in the world..so she has a lot in common with them. I say stick with someone that you have lots in common with. I predict she will marry a hockey player.


lol


Leave a comment




Submit Your Photos
Photo Scoop

Check out our most popular photos!

Editors Pick

Odd Outrageous or Ongoing

Kiefer Sutherland Faces NYC

These are the first pictures of Kiefer Sutherland out and about in NYC since being charged in the alleged...

EXCLUSIVE: RPatz And Kristen Stewart Cozy Cab Ride

In the latest installment of the are they/aren't they saga, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted exclusively by...

SNEAK PEAK: Harry Potter Cottage

 Here's a sneak peak for all the Muggles!We got behind-the-scenes pictures of a cottage built on the sand and made...

Fancy That! Heidi Klum and Seal Renew Wedding Vows In Costume

Here's Heidi Klum and Seal as you've never seen them before - renewing their wedding vows as rednecks. Every...

Browse by Month:

Splash News Online
Splash Video
Splash Style
People Paparazzi
Visit Splash on MySpace